What hides inside us has a life of its own, and chooses its own ways and times to come out. It’s not really like a voice inside telling you what to do when; nothing of the sort. It’s more like you getting down to your usual business and ending up with something that is far from what you had in mind. It’s as trying to say what you don’t really mean, act as you don’t want to act- being someone you are not and trying to keep appearances up. Such as when I picked up paper and pencils to start on something I was munching on for a bit back in early 2018. I knew what I wanted, but couldn’t get it. And that is by far unusual, as I usually get what I want after a few goes. This time, I couldn’t get it straight.

I ended up sitting back for a while, letting it rest in my head, but I probably should rather say in my chest, getting some distance and letting in some sense my feelings guide me to what I truly wanted to get out there when I next approached the paper. This time, in early spring, I managed to get it right. I felt I was speaking the right “words”, those that were pressing hard against my throat, asking to be released. Maybe, a song I discovered recently helped out.

And no, there’s no mistake in the title: Notre Dame des Lames should be.

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It’s a rather early picture I took. I later added more contrast, deepened the shadows and let the highlights shine much brighter. And only about 1/4 of it has even been drawn out (I think I only had outlined the mouth when I took this picture). I nevertheless wanted to share this as work in progress. I’ll post new pictures as the project grows. Let’s see how this experiment goes. Stay tuned.

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