Backtracking steps on a foot-printed map

To the man who showed me the way to become who I am
(and to the girl who asks the right questions)

What about all those rings and bracelets you wear? Curiously enough, that was the first time I realised my rings and bracelets do have stories to tell, and that people might wonder what those stories are. It happened on one evening in that hectic summer of 2017, when a newborn, a new job and an international relocation had to fit together somehow. I was then having drinks with some of those who would soon be my new colleagues in my new hometown. It was a pleasant evening in Munich. The pizza was good, as was the beer (which was also cheap compared to Sweden). I was enjoying the company, the chatter, and the exchange of opinions on work matters; an extinguished cigar stub lingering between my fingers. She dropped the question just like that, out of the blue, from the corner of the table opposite mine.

Continue reading “Backtracking steps on a foot-printed map”


Of coco-pops, bruises and mathematics

Childhood memories stick around. They hide for years, under your skin, deep and out of  view; but they’re always there. Some time ago, I found myself musing over breakfast wares at the supermarket, weighting options. An isle I’ve regularly perused, weekly or so, with nothing more noticeable happening than eventually making my mind up over one of the few “no palm oil” cereal boxes. Not on that day, though. That day, that ever un-chosen box, as innocuous and colourful a carton as it had always been, triggered something it had failed to trigger earlier. Memories are like tame beasts. They need just one wrong movement, a change of conditions, an inadvertent flash in the corner of the eye to go back to being the wild animal that will eventually go for your throat. It was maybe my daughter’s fault: by being born, she allowed my childhood memories to resurface so violently. Continue reading “Of coco-pops, bruises and mathematics”

25 years of goodbyes, and I still don’t get it

The first thing I learned about goodbyes I learned as a child, and it’s that no matter how conscious and prepared you feel, you’re never truly ready

“Missing” is the feeling we get from the projection onto the future of something that was and no longer is, or will soon no longer be. Goodbyes do not concern the present, the exchange of farewells, but the perceived or anticipated absence that follows. Continue reading “25 years of goodbyes, and I still don’t get it”

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